Vignettes of love #1

Mar 25, 2024

When we go to the planetarium you are nearly 8 months old and your little hand tries to reach for the stars above our heads.

A woman’s voice tells us about the red supergiant star Betelgeuse and I wonder if it will go supernova in your lifetime.

I could spend many lifetimes watching you reach for things but I know we only have this one.

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My son

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My sun

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My moon

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My stars

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Luke Jerram’s Gaia, Durham Cathedral

The longest I have been without you is one hour and thirty minutes and it felt like my heart was outside of my body.

This is my favourite place

in bed

in the morning

and I’m wedged between you and your dad while you both sleep and I think

This is it

This is what I ached for without knowing how or when it would come

but it came

This is one of those moments I’ll look back on and wish I could revisit

This is now and it will become then

but I am here.

You open your eyes

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Lumiere Festival, Durham

This could be the last time you nap on me

Or the last time I carry you in the sling

One day I won’t need to get up in the night to feed you and the first time I’ll be so happy until one day I’ll miss it

When will the last nappy be?

When will you stop needing my milk?

There will be a last everything I just won’t know it until after.